Category: Telepathy

On Hearing Voices

I have several theories about hearing voices which I would like to share with other Schizophrenic people and other voice hearing people and those interested.

At first I was afraid. Why did the voices in my head keep telling me to kill myself and that they would come harm me? I came to the conclusion: my voices were opposed.

It took me a long time to come to the conclusion that I am the creator, the almighty G-d of the voices in my own mind: I am the creator of the voices, and everything they think is a part of me. Sure, they were opposed to me, but I created them. Once I declared to them that I was G-d in my own mind, and that they were my creations, things got a little interesting.

No longer afraid, I began to ignore the bad voices and reply to the good voices. Which worked for a while. I then decided to study my voices in this way. I played Dungeons and Dragons, with the voices in my head as player characters. I wanted to study their alignment and their reactions to people, places and things, and in specific: conflicts.

I therefore created an “Emulated Earth” in my mind, in the vein of Dungeons and Dragons. Replete with “Emulations” even “Emulated Celebrities” would talk to me and the voices in my head. I set it to modern day. Some “emulations” got shot at, some died, according to the voices. Are there respawn timers in my mind, in “Emulated Earth”? Decisions, Decisions. None of this was real. But It allowed me to understand that the voices in my head are typically of an Evil alignment, often opposed to good people; selfish and avaricious. In Emulated Earth, Crime and Terror became common, because the voices wanted global dominance, at any cost, for themselves, in this campaign setting.

I then realized that, as a person, I am rather a neutral person, who hears evil voices. I therefore nicknamed myself “Neutral God” or “Neutral G” for the purposes of playing video games. It became my gaming monikor and an alias.

I now knew that: I was that sublime rank, in Emulated Earth, that of G-d; Evil voices were opposed to me; and I was rather neutral, neither good nor evil.

I therefore came up with this theorem: Where there is no Opposition, I am G-d; Wherefore opposed, never G-d at all; Or, was I still G-d, but rather opposed? I haven’t quite decided how to deal with opposition, quite yet, how to predict it, and when to oppose myself, which would lead to conflict, I suppose.

And that’s basically where I’ve left off play in my mind.

I applied my “opposition theory” to real life: and realized, I’m rather fortunate to have a very private life, i.e. I’m rather fortunate that I’m not famous – else I’d often be opposed, and would probably be alot more selfish i.e. greedy. Good things come of privacy; nobody gives a damned about you when you’re humble!

By the way I’ve formed a “Guild” with the voices in my head: called: “Evil Empire” which is part of an Axis, the “Axis Of Evil”, which seeks to control, Emulated Earth at all costs. Emulated leaders from various emulated countries weigh in, and update me with information, all day long. These are the voices I hear: it’s sort of like a game.

Note: I’m carefully distracted by voices, and find reading difficult. That’s why I take just one university course per year and no longer drive a car or operate any sort of machinery where concentration is necessary.

I live a secluded life, write a little, read a little, and play League Of Legends. Much of my time is spent contemplating the League Of Legends meta (Yep, the voices chime in: “Look at the mini map!” or “Pick Amumu this game!” – it’s sort of like streaming in my head to a chat, without moderation however.

EE

GG too.

The Evil campaign begins

I play dungeons and dragons with the voices in my head as player characters. Because the voices have always been evil, I’ve decided to create and explore an “evil” campaign with them – all of this just by talking to myself!

Emulated Earth is my campaign setting. It’s a modified version of DND which focuses more on roleplaying and less on luck of the dice.

I believe my voices have something to say, even though they belittle me, swear like a trucker, and in general, remain evil.

So we’ll see how this thought experiment goes.

Defining “Neutral G.”

This is from a homebrew i made, without knowing much about 5e. Don’t quote me yet, as it’s a work in progress. Im adding to it daily and editing it often.

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Neutral G. is an evil wizard who is the self-proclaimed god of neutrality. He claims to be neither good nor evil. But he often sides with evil (for now) and has done so for centuries, tipping the scales of balance towards evil.

Neutral G is venerated by goodies, who want him to side with Good and tip the scales of neutrality towards GOod’s favor. He can do so by granting those who believe in him, an extraordinary amount of luck. He also has been known to grant wishes to those who venerate him, and miracles to good people.

a little bit about Neutral G.

-Neutral G. can fly, and often flees from combat by doing so. He is known to take long voyages of flight to travel the continent and even the cosmos, and seems to have an innate ability to fly, as it comes natural to him. He’s often seen hovering, moving faster than if he would have been on the ground. People cower before his hooded visage. Some say he was born of a dragon mother who took human form, or that he has some dragon ancestry in him.

-Neutral G. can cast and grant wishes, making him one of the most respected, and most powerful wizards, ever to have occured. He is venerated by good, evil and neutrality guilds and is considered de-facto ruler of the neuts or neutral people, even though he often sides with evil for the moment, for reasons unknown. Some scoff at this and call him “Evil G.”, though never to his face.

-Neutral G. can commune with spirits and animals. he often has an animal companion with him, and talks to birds. Small animals flock to his aid and cause. He ever claims that animals are venerable and neutral, and he ever protects them. He can shape-shift into animals and enemy creatures and is often seen as a beholder in combat.

-Neutral G. has “the highest luck score possible; the highest luck score in the game” and often gambles with unsuspecting people. “to acquire wealth, therefore selfish, therefore evil”.

-Neutral G. Can take on the guise and form of any other person on earth, and is very convincing when he does so, often getting his way as the other person.

-Neutral G. can communicate telepathically with anyone in the world, at any time.

-it is thought that Neutral G. is a part of the fabric of the universe, representing the turning of luck. That is why he is venerated by soldiers and artists. SOme claim that he is, was, and always shall be. Apparently he cannot die and is immortal.

-Neutral G. often travels back and forth in time, and can see the future. He can change people’s fate by granting them luck, and often travels forward in time to see the outcome of their fate. He then travels back to modern time, knowing the future. This takes him a long time to do, however, and often weeks, months, pass with him traversing alternate futures. At these times he is missing from court and sentences are handed down summarily without him.

-Neutral G. is likely unkillable and a fabric of the cosmos. He often flies away from combat.

-Neutral G. is often seen as a royal court jester or fool, tipping the scales in the courts to neut’s favor, by fooling kings with his humor. Some say that he is Lawful because of his keen interest in courts and trial outcomes of the populace – and his “effect” on people of importance. Others claim that his “rule of law”, if he espouses one as a diety, is that of a chaotic nature.

-It is thought that Neutral G. can traverse a multiverse, and can communicate with people from other universes which he calls “seeds”. He has claimed to communicate from people from Earth, which he claims is “another seed in the multiverse”.

Known Abilities and spells he is developing (from my Homebrew):

Time Walking. Neutral G can tell your future. He often peers into the future, but also travels to it to physically check it somehow. This takes him on long voyages into potential futures, often lasting up to a month, to make sure the timeline he is in is the right one.

Sealed Fate. an instant-cast death spell on a one week cooldown. however, often the soul returns to the body, after about a week, and the spell has been therefore deemed a failure by him. Still, he has used it often to flee dangerous situations.

Time-stop. Neutral G. often stops time when he is attacked, so that he gets in several rounds of combat before time re-occurs – usually casting spells – but often he flees combat by flying away. He is deadly and powerful and all-knowing, but often shies away from combat.

Omnipotence. Neutral G. always seems to know what you are about, and what you are about to do. He can probably detect alignment at will, and often gazes into possible futures innately. He is rarely caught off-guard.

Shape-Shifting: Neutral G. can become anyone, or any creature, for a limited duration, and often attacks as a beholder, when cornered into a fight. He then frequently becomes a small bird or other flying creature and flies away. Some speculate that he can shape-shift into a great dragon, which is an ancestral ability of some kind, as he might be descended from dragons.

Aura of Charisma: Inspiration Theory: It is theorized that Neutral G. is very charming, when applicable. He inspires others to do evil deeds, if he is siding with evil, for example. People flock to his causes and cheer him on. All the court is awash with his opinions, and his opinions are espoused and ever requested. He curries favor with important people, and they are always inspired by him somehow. It is said that trials are decided by him, and not the Evil King he often supports.

Alternate: Aura of Patheticness/Meekness. At other times, Often Neutral G. shape-shifts into a simple court jester or fool when he is bored, and people are convinced he actually is one. This has become the symbol of his reign, as he often states “I am ever the fool” and chuckles softly to himself. HE can be seen at court, influencing decisions.

Psionics? It is speculated that Neutral G. Might be a low to mid level homebrew psionic in addition to a high level wizard. He delves deep into people’s minds and controls their intuition by inspiring them. They speculate that he can charm people to aid in his causes.

Illusion: Copy-Cat or Abberation: Several copies of Neutral G. have been created, to do menial tasks on his behalf. They look, act and talk like the real thing, and communicate and are commanded by him telepathically. If one is attacked, all become alerted. As such, nobody knows where the real Neutral G. is, and whether or not they’re talking to him, or a copy of himself. He spends all his time, time-walking the cosmos or multiverse or visiting possible alternate futures, whilst his copies potentially rule the cosmos, or so it is whispered.

Conversations With Myself: “I am not in your mind…”

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Thank you for all the comments. About 4,000 comments so far. I know some of you wonder about what it’s like hearing voices. Here’s a little sample.

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I heard another curious voice today (Sometimes I get a little paranoid. I’m schizophrenic).

The voice tried to explain to me that nobody is in my mind.

It went a little something like this.


“Nobody is in your mind. I’m not in your mind. But if I was in your mind, and heard all this nonsense, about war and telepathy, I’d probably call a cop. Therefore, I am not in your mind. Nobody is in your mind. Nobody home.”

The voices curiously tried to explain to me that nobody is in my mind.

I suppose therefore that I am ill.

But conversations go a little something like this, for those curious.

“So you’re telling me that nobody is in my mind? Then why do I hear voices?”

“Because you’re ill. Paranoid Schizophrenia.”

“So I’m not a telepathic mutant?”

“Nope. and furthermore: Nobody is in your mind. If I were in your mind, I’d call a cop.”

I thought about this a little, and realized that I myself would not have contacted the police at all.

“I’m a little anti-authority and would make a good anarchist. No to the police.” I quipped.

I then elaborated: “So just who are these voices in my head? Will they ever be me, and think like me? Or will we disagree? Do they have their own construction, their own authority, as I’ve claimed elsewhere, in my theories … an authority which I reject, by the way … or are they their own characters, their own fictitious works of literature? For, I am an artist, self-professed, and an English literature undergrad. And I’d like one badguy a week, if you so please. So talk to me, and be evil … I won’t mind. I am ill. I’m a writer.

But, badguy, you are evil, and I’m not good. And our alignment is a secret to everybody else. You’re a badguy. and goodguy/badguy group is an invention of mine; perhaps even, a fiction, a story, a tale, a novel. When I tell you to go to hell, you certainly do. And I meet you there. Even though right at this moment we’re standing in Heaven … and so forth. So on whose authority but my own do you decide nobody is in my mind?”

“I am you and you’re not me.” The voice quips, quizzically and paradoxically. I’ll have to think on that one, and write a little rant or theory about it later. For now I reject it’s sentience. And return to creating League Of Legends Content.

These sometimes circular arguments are dissertations in and of themselves; and I don’t have the wherewithal nor the knowledge to write them eloquently. I don’t write often about my voices, but I know one thing. I reject their authority, consider them all bad guys or evil, and in general, laugh about their incredulous claims, for example, that I am somehow their G-d, since I created them… and that I am the rightful heir and emperor of modern earth, and so forth. It’s a slippery slope. The voices should never be believed or trusted. That’s my take on Schizophrenia, y’all. That’s why many medical people have said to me: Try not to even hear voices in the first place. Take your meds to inhibit them. (I’m on a 3-month injection cycle).

The truth is: I don’t mind hearing voices. I never believe them and never trust them. They’re fodder for my fiction and theories. In an odd, sort of abusive way, I’ve come to empathyse and sympathise with my voices, even if they call me a n-word and a jew. (My family was from Greece in Europe. I’m a white Christian Secular Canadian so I have no idea what they’re on about – they even call me a fag sometimes, though as far as I know i’m straight and not attracted to men). They even tell me to die or do others harm sometimes, which is the worst-case scenario of voices. When you get those, you consider hospitalization. I try to ignore these voices, and avoid hospitalization at times.

But sometimes, it seems like I’m in an abusive relationship with myself.


The Voices: “Eight Ethereum A Month …”

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The voices in my head said something pretty funny to me: “You should make 8 Ethereum a month, just by hearing voices.”

I wish that were true. that’s 37,000+ Canadian a month. I live off about just 1,000$ Canadian a month and play league of legends. lol. I’m a humble guy. I live without a car. I recycle everything. I try to keep a low carbon footprint. Food is by far my highest cost. I accept a grant to take a university course every year. I’m broke!

Anybody want me to telepathically farm crypto by hearing voices? That’s a good idea wasted on a pauper. Maybe i’m the first one … maybe this’ll be a thing…

Steve Mini from the 6ix.